Children and parents relationship issues

  • Jan 17 , 2017

With changing times, thinking of younger generation is also changing. Such variations in every individual’s thinking can create many problems in every relationship, especially between parents and children.

The parent-child relationship plays a critical role in a child's development. When kids have a dependable, reliable, consistent and stable relationship with their parents, they have a secure base from which they can explore and experience their world, leading to healthy growth and development.

Kids also use their relationships with their parents as models for relationships with others. If they do not have a strong, positive relationship with their parents, it will be much more difficult for them to develop strong, positive relationships with others. While there's no recipe for building a healthy parent-child relationship, parents can do a few things to help build a positive relationship and prevent many of the common problems.

  • Parents should communicate with their children, encouraging their children to express their emotions and share their needs.
  • Parents should provide for their children, meeting both their physical and emotional needs.
  • Parents should provide consistent discipline, setting healthy boundaries and making sure kids follow them.

Common relationship problems:

Lack of respect - Children who do not respect their parents often show their lack of respect by failing to obey their parents or showing disregard for their emotions and feelings. This lack of respect may transfer to a child's self-respect, causing him to make bad choices. It may also transfer to how a child respects others, making him treat others poorly. While the sometimes lack of respect simply comes as kids begin to rely less on their parents and more on the world, parents can:

  • Set rules and follow up with reasonable consequences
  • Show respect to their children
  • Respect when interacting with others
  • Parenting with confidence; make a decision and stick to it

    Photo Courtesy: counseling.org

     

Lack of communication - Lack of communication can be one of the most frustrating problems for both parents and children. Parents feel like their children don't listen to them, while children feel like their parents don't understand them or never take the time to listen. When this happens, instead of working harder to communicate, parents and kids often stop communicating completely, leading to anger, sadness and a host of other negative emotions.

Parents should:

  • Get on the child's level
  • Use positive phrasing
  • Offer choices
  • Keep it short
  • Stay calm
  • Parents whose children complain they never listen to them should:
  • Regularly take time to let children talk
  • Avoid responding with strong emotion
  • Focus on the child's interests and feelings
  • Give children full attention while they're talking

Lack of trust - Parents whose children have made a host of mistakes or who regularly engage in dishonest behaviours may have difficulty trusting their children. In order to rebuild trust in their children, parents need to give them a chance to demonstrate they are worthy of that trust.

To build trust, parents should:

  • Teach children the importance of being honest.
  • Create a plan to help rebuild lost trust.
  • React positively when children tell the truth, even if they share negative information.
  • Children whose parents regularly lie to them, betray their confidence, or fail to follow through on their promises may also experience a lack of trust in the parent/child relationship.

Parents can:

  • Not make promises they can't keep
  • Follow through on promises made
  • Keep private information private
  • Talk to children about why something shared in confidence must occasionally be shared with others
  • Always being truthful with children